


Anxiety works hard but Akaashi works harder

by a_teayes



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Anxiety, Gen, Literal Sleeping Together
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-28
Updated: 2020-11-28
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:14:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27765805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a_teayes/pseuds/a_teayes
Summary: Bokuto’s having trouble sleeping.Akaashi might have the solution(he is the solution).
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji & Bokuto Koutarou
Comments: 2
Kudos: 15





	Anxiety works hard but Akaashi works harder

**Author's Note:**

> tw//anxiety
> 
> Hi! This story means a lot to me, please enjoy :)

Bokuto Koutarou can’t sleep.

Well, he can, but only after a few hours of tossing and turning and a boatload of internal conflict, so...he’d like to say he really _can’t_ sleep. It’s definitely not for lack of trying if you’re wondering- since he really does try (arguably too much). It’s not due to an abundance of energy, either. It might seem a bit surprising, but Bokuto tends to cool down at night because he’s found that he really doesn’t generate all that much pep once the sun goes down. 

So, why can’t Bokuto sleep?

It’s a number of things, to be honest. First, he’s, well, a bit...scared, at night. He can’t really tell if it’s because of the darkness or the quiet or the loneliness, but those are all pretty scary to him, so it’s probably all of the above. It’s not like fear or a phobia, really, it’s more like discomfort. He’s unsure of himself, of his surroundings, at night, and he finds it unsettling. The uncomfortable feeling sloshes around his brain, moving from the back of his mind to the front of it, encompassing all of his thoughts before it seeps down into his body and sometimes, on the bad nights, paralyzes him with fear, holding him down and shoving its demons down his throat. On the okay nights, on the _meh_ nights, they simply dig a pit in his stomach and settle there until morning, when they inevitably retreat into their hiding spot.

He uses white noise to block out physical sounds (he tried earplugs, once, but they were too weird), but, for the most part, Bokuto deals with all of it himself. Not that there could be anyone else to do the job, but he used to think that it would be nice to share some of it with someone else. Just the knowledge of it, of course, but that could be as helpful as anything else he’s tried thus far. When he met Akaashi, he found that he wanted to tell his dark-haired setter _everything_ he could, everything he knew now, and everything else as he came to know it. He wouldn’t tell him about the sleeping problems though, because he didn’t want to burden Akaashi with anything, especially not that, which he was (kind of) successfully keeping at bay. 

Akaashi doesn’t need to know that Bokuto can’t sleep.

***

It’s another sleepless night, and Bokuto can feel that it’ll be at least two hours until he’s even nearing a mindset that’s suitable for sleep, so he’s pretty free to let his thoughts run wild until he needs to reel them in. Curiously enough, his mind seems to be wandering pretty far from its usually anxious course, finding itself lost in fond memories and random scenarios involving a certain pretty setter. 

Tonight, Bokuto fell asleep with thoughts of Akaashi on repeat, swirling around in his head, coaxing him to sleep almost an hour earlier than usual. Huh. 

_I could get used to this_ , Bo thinks, somewhat subconsciously.

***

“Hey, hey, ‘Kaashi! We still good to study at my house today?” Bo’s bouncing up and down on his toes, trying to contain his excitement at the prospect of hanging out with Akaashi (it’s not working very well). 

“Of course, Bokuto-san. I’m looking forward to it.” With that, Bokuto basically melts into the floor, savoring the rare shift from Akaashi’s usual indifference to showing _actual emotion_ , and towards spending time with Bo, no less! _An incredible_ _start to the morning_ , Bo thinks.

***

“I’m gonna make us some tea, can you take my bag up, ‘Kaashi?” Polite as ever, Bo pushes past the post-practice exhaustion flooding his bones, reaching for Akaashi’s favorite green tea from the cabinet above the sink. 

“Ok, I’m here, ‘Kaash!” Bo swings the door open with his foot, balancing the tea tray with one hand and a box of Pocky in the other. “Oh,” he whispers, seeing his setter curled up on the bed, passed out. “Awe, were you tired from practice, ‘Kaashi?” Still speaking softly, Bo leans down to stroke dark curls, petting Akaashi the way he usually does to Bokuto when he’s feeling out of it. 

Pulling his books out as quietly as possible, Bo gets to work, leaving Akaashi to rest.

***

“Haaah…” Scrunching his nose cutely, Akaashi yawns, waking up after...three hours. “Bokuto-san! Did I fall asleep? You should’ve woken me up!” 

Bo doubles over, hardly concealing the laughter bubbling out from his chest. “Akaaaasheee! You looked so cute and tired, how could I wake you like that?” Laughing even harder at the light flush his words trigger on Akaashi’s cheeks, Bokuto thinks to himself that he’d like to spend all his evenings in the foreseeable future this way (something to dwell on later). 

“W-well, thank you, Bokuto-san. For letting me rest.” Akaashi clears his throat as if it’ll make his blush disappear. How cute. 

“Don’t worry about it, ‘Kaashi! You can study with me now! It _is_ Friday, though, so why don’t you um...just sleepover? Only if you want to, of course!” _Oh no, oh no, I messed up, why would he even want to sleepover? Stupid! Look at him, he’s obviously trying to figure out how to turn me down!_ Bo blinks owlishly, trying to shake the anxious thoughts. 

“Oh. I- I'd like that, Bokuto-san. As long as I’m not imposing…” Bokuto wants to tell Akaashi how nothing he would ever do could impose, how he’s always welcome to do anything he wants to...but maybe that’s a bit too much. 

“Of course not, ‘Kaashi! Do you want a bath? Wait! Let me get you a change of clothes, first!” Shooting up from his spot on the floor and towards the closet, Bo leaves Akaashi feeling a bit shell-shocked, but also a bit warm and fuzzy at the way he was so easily welcomed. Maybe it’s not such an unfamiliar feeling around Bokuto, though. 

***

Fresh from the bath and looking awfully cute and cozy in Bokuto’s too-big bathrobe, Akaashi emerges from the bathroom, and Bo can’t help but smother him in a big, appreciative hug.

“B-Bokuto-san! Why are you-”

“Akaaaashi! Thanks for staying over tonight.” The last part is uncharacteristically soft-spoken, since Bo’s really, truly excited that his best friend is sleeping over (it’s their first sleepover, both of them, ever, believe it or not). 

“Sure, Bokuto-san. Whenever you want.” This time, Akaashi brought his blush upon himself, so he can’t blame Bokuto when he turns a bit red. “Would you mind if we went to sleep now? I know I slept earlier, but practice was tough today so…”

“Of course, Akaashi! Take my bed! I’ll take the futon,” Bo’s too excited for someone giving up their bed for the night, but he’s doing it for Akaashi, so it’s worth it. 

“No! Bokuto-san, I won’t just... _take_ your bed. I’ll take the futon.”

“Akaashi! I won’t let you sleep on the floor at our first sleepover! C’mon, it’s okay, really!”

“Well, if you insist…” Bokuto nods enthusiastically, unaware that Akaashi wasn’t done speaking.

“...then how about we share the bed? If that’s okay?” Bo keeps nodding- partly in shock, mostly because he’s _definitely_ more than okay with that suggestion.

It doesn’t occur to him until they shut the light that he probably should’ve taken the futon.

Bokuto’s able to stay still (still enough) for a good fifteen minutes, until eventually his resolve wears down and he’s fidgeting as subtly as he can, trying desperately to repress his internal disarray so it doesn’t spill over and manifest physically (as it usually does, making itself known in muscle twitches and shaky fingers), anything to make sure he doesn’t disturb the sleep of the boy next to him. 

“Bokuto-san?” _Shit, shit, shit. Did I wake him up? He’s never going to want to stay over again. I don’t want him to know that I can’t sleep! Shit._

“Akaashi? Did I wake you? I’m sorry!” Repeated apologies fall from Bo’s mouth in furious whispers. He’s clearly angry with himself at the possibility of bothering his friend.

“Bokuto-san, are you alright? You’re...moving around a lot. Is there something on your mind? Having trouble sleeping?” Akaashi must feel Bo’s grimace when he hears the last question, so he rolls over onto his other side, now facing his spiker. “Bokuto, would you like to talk about it?”

Bo knows Akaashi only uses his first name when he’s cheering him up or talking about something serious, so he takes a few deep breaths to steady himself before opening up. “Akaashi, can I tell you something?”

“Of course. Any time, Bokuto.” Akaashi places a reassuring hand on Bokuto’s side, rubbing comforting circles on his hip- something he often does, now out of habit more than anything, really. 

Steeling himself with one last deep breath, counting to eight the way his therapist tells him to, Bo starts. “You see, I kinda...can’t sleep…”

He tells Akaashi about the sounds, at first, the ones he was able to block out by explaining them away, like a creak in the floor or a whistle of wind, and eventually push away more permanently with white noise. Then, he delves into the more troublesome things, like the little fears that seem to gang up on him at night, coming for him when he’s vulnerable, making him doubt himself and his surroundings. He tells Akaashi about all the odd anxieties that crowd his mind and make it a little bit hard to breathe, that like to make his life difficult. He tries, in the end, to tell Akaashi that he can and does handle it on his own, that he talks to someone every Thursday, that it’s okay, really, it’s fine, _I’m_ fine. Akaashi won’t have any of it, only speaking up once Bo’s done talking.

“Bokuto, I’m glad you felt comfortable enough with me to tell me this.”

“Of course, Akaashi, you’re my best friend.” Bo’s mumbling a bit, embarrassed at the almost immediate thought that pops up in his head, the reminder that he knows full well he would tell Akaashi anything he wanted him to if he asked. 

“I wish you’d told me sooner, though. I want to help you with this if I can. I understand that a lot of it is internal and I might not be of much use, but if you ever want to call me at night, or text, or even have me over like this so it’s maybe a little less...scary, I want you to know that you can. That you _should_ , and that I’m here for you. Okay?”

“Akaaasheeee, you’re the best! How can you just say all that and fix all my problems with a straight face? Thank you, really. You’re really amazing…” Bokuto’s filled with warmth after hearing how eager his friend was to support him. He knew was right to trust Akaashi; he always is.

“Bokuto-san, do you mind if I-” 

Reaching over Bokuto’s side, Akaashi scoots up until his head is just above Bokuto’s, still on the bed, pulling the taller boy gently into his chest. Akaashi places the spiker’s large, calloused hand over his own side, fitting their bodies together nicely.

“Akaashi, this is...really nice. Are you sure you’re okay like this?” Bokuto can’t believe his luck. First, his best friend is incredibly supportive and listened to him rant about his dilemma, now they’re _cuddling_?? He thought he might already be dreaming, but Akaashi’s heartbeat (awfully loud, for some reason) is grounding, in more ways than one.

“Bokuto, I was serious when I said I wanted to help you. What am I going to do if my captain loses all of his energy and spiking power because he can’t sleep?” Something about Akaashi calling Bo _his_ captain raises his heartbeat to the same volume as Akaashi’s.

“You’re right! We can’t have that…” Bo nuzzles into Akaashi’s chest, just a bit.

“Mmm...thanks again, Akaashi. I think this is helping.” He lets out a yawn, and, in record time, he’s asleep. 

_I guess we’ll have to do this more often_ , Akaashi thinks. 

Neither of them would mind that very much- they’d be happy to do so, really. 

_Something to dwell on later_ , Akaashi finishes, as he falls asleep, his chin perched atop a bed of soft, grey hair. 

**Author's Note:**

> Ah, this one was based on my own experiences, actually, and is very real in a lot of senses for me, so it’s super super close to my heart. I sincerely hope you liked it <3 
> 
> One kudos = one full night of sleep for Bokuto and I :D


End file.
